Hard Knocks’ recap: The first to go

Time for some cutting!

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  • Courtesy Atlanta Falcons
  • Defensive line coach Bryan Cox (right) stole the show last night.



The honeymoon is over. Last night’s episode of “Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Atlanta Falcons” wasted no time in showing us the not-so-happy side of NFL training camps. Poor, poor, poor, Roosevelt Nix-Jones seemed so happy in the opening seconds, but then the music got dramatic and everyone from Mike Smith to the little messenger kid got all awkward when it was time for the team’s first cut. From then on, a kind of paranoia and desperation was felt by everyone not named first or second string for the rest of the hour. Like last week, here’s another round of highlights.

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Thomas Dimitroff
We learned that the Falcons general manager is more than just the two-time NFL executive of the year with great hair, and a Jeff Spicoli sense of cool. Dimitroff was apparently a former grounds keeper turned executive who now spends his time biking the rough mountain trails of Aspen, Colo., with none other than Lance Armstrong.

Bryan Cox
The defensive line coach is the most entertaining member of Mike Smith’s staff. He’s also the the cigar-smoking, tough-as-nails bad ass we all aspire to be in our dreams. OK, so maybe I’m alone on that. Either the way, the man might be the most quotable dude on the show. This week, he spared us the “defensive is like making love”’ analogies and blessed viewers with gems like his jab at rookie defensive end Ra’Shede Hageman: “You’re class clown ‘cuz you’re too cool for school.” There was also the moment when he was kicking back at a poolside table smoking a Cohiba with a couple other assistant coaches, explaining his philosophy on trusting folks. Basically, “a man without some kind of a habit got a lot of skeletons.” Preach.

Ricardo’s pebbles
Rookie’s seem to bring all of the comedy on this show. This week it was cornerback Ricardo Allen’s getting knocked in the junk and having to explain why everyone refers to him as “big balls” now. Yea, we get it. I kept thinking if his “pebbles” hurt so bad, how did he manage to comfortably put on that zip-line harness?

William Moore doesn’t love the kids who love Roddy White
After telling other folks on defense, “Fuck who he is — take advantage of him,” in regards to Roddy White, Willy Mo took his beef to the kids. When Willy Mo approaches a group of young Falcons fans wanting autographs he skips over the kids wearing White’s jersey. Not good PR, but great television.

WTF Moment
Mike Tyson-sounding rookie Hageman seriously injures his hand picking a fight. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Best Quote
“I can’t fuck with that,” rookie running back Devonta Freeman after his teammates tell him about their experience swimming with a whale shark at the Georgia Aquarium.

Side Note:
- SPOOOOON! Linebacker Sean Weatherspoon may be out for the season with a torn Achilles but that didn’t stop him from scooting — literally — around Flowery Branch mentoring rookie linebacker and owner of the best name on the team, Prince Shembo.

Check back next week as Coach Cox promises to “slap the shit out of” players he catches going to strip clubs.